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C’mon…it’s just a joke!

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave.

Ok, I have to admit — it made me chuckle too. But blonde jokes, “name your ethnic group of choice” jokes — let’s be honest — it is our human nature to put others down. There’s something about it that makes us feel better about ourselves on some level.

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What are you doing??

An old mountaineer and his wife who were sitting in front of the fireplace one evening just whiling away the time. After a long silence, the wife said: “Jed, I think it’s raining. Get up and to outside and see.” The old mountaineer continued to gaze into the fire for a second, sighed, then said, “Aw, Ma, why don’t we just call in the dog and see if he’s wet.”

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What do you wish?

Three men were marooned on a desert island. As the days slowly went by, they dreamed of what it would be like to be at home with their friends and family, to be back at their jobs doing the things they loved. One day one of the men found a bottle. When he opened it, a genie came out and announced that he would grant each of them one wish.

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Gotcha!

He snuck up the stairs as quietly as he could. He looked in the bathroom mirror and bandaged the couple of bumps and bruises he’d received in a fight earlier that night. He was a little drunk, but nobody had to know. He proceeded to climb into bed, smiling at the thought that he’d pulled one over on his wife. When morning came, he opened his eyes and there stood his wife. “You were drunk last night weren’t you!” “What? What do you mean?” He replied. “How could you think such a thing?” “Well, if you weren’t drunk, my dear,” his wife pointed in the direction of the bathroom, “why are there bruises on your face and a bunch of band-aids on the bathroom mirror?”

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Have you been praying?

Two men were talking about religion. The first challenged the other, “Ok, then if you are so religious, let’s hear you quote the Lord’s Prayer. I’ll bet you ten bucks you can’t do it.” The second thought for a moment and then responded, “Now I lay my down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” The other reluctantly pulled out his wallet and said “Gee, I didn’t think you could really do it.”

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